Abuse of women
By Sanela Nikolic, IPO Official Member.
Abuse of women is very often occurance today and is still not talked about that enough.
This is very extensive topic, but I will try to bring out the most important once.
There are several types of abuse; physical, sexual, mental, emotional...
The most common comments of the other people on the news about violence
against the woman are: what has she been waiting for so far, why she didn't
a report earlier, she is to blame“ ecc
The truth is that no one of us knows how the victim felt at the time of violence,
what she was going through and mostly we can’t even imagine that. Victims usually blame themselves for everything, that happens to them, feel ashamed and consequently do not choose to report the abuser. The victim can be a woman of any age, nationality, social and material status. What they have in common is the fear they feel, primarily from abuser and then from society what others will say, whether they will look for guilt in them, whether they will belive them and eventualy reject them.
You can find an abuser anywhere, at school, at work, in the family, on the Internet... ecc He can also be of any social status, nationality or education. Just when you think that this is a educated gentleman, respected in society, it turns out that you just fallen the trap of starting his manipulation. The abuser’s favorite „weapon“ is threats, bellitling and insultes.
For exemple, if abuse occurs in the work place, it is usually always the superior Chief, that will threaten dismissal. In the case of family violance, the husbant will mostly threaten to take away the children, and this is the greatest asset, because the wife, in fear of losing her children, will stay with the abuser and suffer violence.
By instilling a se se of inferiority, she will be sure that, even if she leaves him, she will not be able to take care of children on her own in the end her children will be taken away from her anyway.Everyone mostly associates sexual abuse with rape, but that is not always the case. In order to force the victim to consent to a sexual act, he does not
always using the force, but manipulating the victim in order to reach his goal.
The process of getting out of this situation is very hard and long for victim.
The agony can last for years,until she take a courage to report abuser, or in the worst case, murder or suicide occurs. To prevent all this from happening, support the victims of violence, report them to the police, whether it is you, your mother, daughter, friend.
No one has the right to beat and humiliate you, no one has a right to call you by various names, to force you to do something you do not want.
There are various Organizations that deals with this problems, you can contact them, they certainly will connect you with the police or other state institutions. If we all have a litlle time, which takes away the fast life we are living, pay attention to possible changes, your child’s behavior, give him unreserved support in case of violence, find time to listen to the child, and if you have anydoubt, consult an expert, it is not a shame. Precisely one of the potential reason why violence is not reported is the fear of public condemnation.
So, don’t condemn the victim of violence, but support them,
to know that "they are not alone".
By Sanela Nikolic, Serbia State Police Officer
IPO Official Member