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Updated: May 31

As a criminologist, I have studied many cases of romance scams and have noticed some common stages that victims go through before falling into these traps.

First, there is the idealization stage, in which the deceiver presents himself as the victim's soulmate, mirroring their hopes and desires. This can create a strong emotional bond between the victim and the scammer.

The idealization stage is one of the main stages of romantic deception and can be particularly dangerous for victims. At this stage, the con artist creates a strong emotional bond with the victim by presenting himself as the perfect soul mate. This connection is built through the use of flattery techniques and the creation of a common image of the world.

For example, the scammer may express appreciation for the victim's qualities and interests, saying phrases such as "I really enjoy talking to you, you're very interesting" or "We're so alike, it's like we were made for each other." the other". During this stage, the scammer also tries to make the victim feel special and unique, saying things like "I've never met anyone like you" or "You're just the person I've always been looking for." In this way, the deceiver creates a strong emotional dependence on the victim, who feels wanted and loved.

These idealization tactics can be extremely effective, especially for people who feel lonely or vulnerable. However, it is important to remember that these behaviors can be fake and only used to manipulate victims.

To avoid falling into this trap, it's important not to get too emotionally involved in the early stages of dating. Keeping your distance and paying attention to warning signs can help. For example, if someone seems too perfect or too interested right away, it could be a "red flag".

In conclusion, the idealization stage constitutes a crucial stage of romantic deceptions, during which the deceiver tries to create a strong emotional connection with the victim. Being aware of these techniques and warning signs can help protect yourself from the dangerous pitfalls of such scams.

Later, the con artist may begin to create a sense of dependence on the victim, for example by asking for money or emotional support. This addiction can make the victim feel like they can't live without the cheater, making them more susceptible to his demands.

The cheater can then begin to build tension and manipulate the victim, such as threatening to leave them if they don't get what they want. This manipulation can make the victim feel like they have no choice but to comply with his demands.


Finally, the fraudster may use threat or blackmail to extort money or other favors from the victim. At this point, the victim may feel trapped and helpless, unable to break free from the cycle of abuse.

To avoid falling into these traps, it's important to pay attention to these warning signs and not get too emotionally involved too quickly. Also, it's important not to give out personal or financial information to people you don't know or have only met online.

In summary, romance scams can be complex and manipulative, but understanding the common stages victims go through can help prevent them.

Being aware of these warning signs and being careful when interacting with strangers online can help protect yourself and others from these dangerous traps.

Part from the book titled "Against Bullying"

Elements from Social and Juvenile Criminology

Criminologist and Crime Analyst

IPO Executive President - CEO

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